Saturday, January 06, 2007

For Pete Sake

There’s a ladies’ wear shop in Thompson Avenue, the main drag, of Cowes, Phillip Island, Victoria, bearing the catchy name of Deborucci’s For Pete Sake.

Neatly and professionally inscribed on the front door is the following curious benediction (I took a photo, but it didn’t come out very well):

The Deborucci Girls Prayer

Our Cash
Which art on plastic
Hallowed be thy name
Thy Cartier watch
Thy Prada bag
In Myer
As it is in David Jones
Give us each day our Platinum Visa
and forgive us our overdraft
As we forgive those who stop our Mastercard
And lead us not into Katies
And deliver us from Sussans
For thine is the Dinnigan, The Jiva and the jewells
For Channell [sic] No 5 and Eternity

I do appreciate that, in a pluralist society such as ours, one is likely to encounter cultural shocks of varying impact and quality. I’m at a loss, however, as to how to receive this particular contribution to the rich tapestry of modern consumer civilisation.

Is the ‘prayer’ blurb an appeal to the esprit de corps of the bright young things who constitute the shop’s demographic? Are the proprietors priming their customers to enter with a spirit of abandon, hence without a care for their credit card burden?

I’m probably missing something, and the bemused smile of the missus affords no guidance. Why are we blokes so out of the loop?

For some, the Deborucci Girls Prayer may inspire faith in a greater communion of souls. For others, it may seem merely some kind of cultural rite that normalises a form of madness.

By the way, the missus actually recommends Cloud Nine Fashions, further up the street from Deborucci’s. I actually recommend standing under the air conditioner inside the premises, while the missus rummages through the mountains of stock.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Goat Thursday Friday

image source

Several cannibals were recently hired by a big corporation.

“You are all part of our team now,” said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing.

“You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don’t eat any of the other employees.”

The cannibals promised.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, “You’re all working very hard and I’m satisfied with you. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?”

The cannibals all shook their heads negatively.

After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, “Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?”

A hand rose hesitantly.

“You fool,” the head cannibal chided. “For four weeks we’ve been eating Managers and no one noticed anything, but nooooooooooo, you had to go and eat a secretary!”

(via email)

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