Monday, March 13, 2006

Oscars fun and froth

Oh God, it must be so tough at the top!

It’s reported here that “Naomi Watts has been dubbed worst dressed at the Academy Awards for a gown one US fashion expert said made her look like a corpse.”

Would that be a fashion expert who also has expertise acquired in a previous careeer as, say, mortuary technician?

No, it’s only Steven Cojocaru, fashion “guru” for Entertainment Tonight. His necro-expertise is apparently limited to prime time TV, as further down we read that Naomi “looked like one of the dead bodies on CSI”.

Gee, that authentic, eh?

Reading on, we learn to our edification that “Nicole Kidman ... did not escape criticism for her off-white Balenciaga embroidered sheath,” which Joan Rivers described as “ordinary”, “while other critics agreed, calling it too safe”.

Perhaps our Nic should have worn something more challenging. Hey, what about something more like what Naomi was wearing? – so that Cojocaru and Rivers could really set in to tearing strips off her.

That would have been grist for their mill, the output of which intelligent human beings are expected to consume in bulk and without retching. One either loves or loathes the shallowness and sheer bitchiness that attends such events as this.

A suitable information management strategy in this instance would be to turn the bloody thing off!

Ah, Melbourne! – from Middling to Marvelous

Many recent visitors to our fair city will have received the standard welcome to Marvelous Melbourne 2006, in the form of grossly inflated prices for accommodation.

The real estate sections in the papers have been abuzz here with advice on the finer points of profiteering in the short-term residential market during the imminent Commonwealth Games. There’s gold in them thar residential investment properties.

Do come again, folks... soon!! The rentseekers of Melbourne require your money!!!

As an accidental outcome, somewhere low down among the hierarchy of winners are Melbourne’s homeless. The Bracks Caring Government has been spending up big-time on short-term accommodation for the city’s homeless. Basically to get them off the streets, of course, they being excess to the requirements of Marvelous Melbourne 2006.

But anyone having any qualms about what could be construed as a cynical cosmetic measure may put their concerns to rest.

The restoration of the liberty of Melbourne’s homeless is assured, once Marvelous Melbourne again becomes Middling Melbourne.