Not-so-bad Karma

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On the weekend I evicted a big brute of a Huntsman Spider from our house.

She’d been free-ranging about the place for over a week, during which I resisted the primeval urge to squish the spider with a rolled up newspaper (or whatever was the primeval equivalent of such implement).

Such an action, I’ve been assured, would result in Bad Karma.

In all likelihood I’d be reincarnated as a big brute of a huntsman spider, destined to be squished with a rolled up newspaper for trespassing human habitation. Upon which, as recompense for my arthropodic martyrdom, I'd come back as an arachnophobic human. And the cycle would continue in perpetuity with the thwack! thwack! thwack! of newspaper crunching exoskeleton ringing through eternity.

So, to beat this rap I determined to await an opportune time and place to evict the brute from the premises without causing undue harm to a fellow creature. Lo and at last, my chance presented when I spied her skulking on the ceiling near the front door.

I rushed back from the hall closet wielding a broom, particularly selected for the softness of its bristles, so as to occasion minimal violence on our unwelcome guest.

I have to report that ‘guiding’ an obstinate arachnid through a door with a broom is not as easy as it might sound. The brute first ended up on the floor, then in an eight-legged flurry dashed underneath the hallstand, from where she had to be ‘coaxed’ out. Finally, with a deft flick of the broom handle, she was ejected onto the front porch from whence she eight-legged it into the garden — somewhat shaken, but intact!

I related the above to our office guru, who informed me to my great relief that, yes, I’ve averted the Bad Karma of coming back as a big brute of a huntsman spider... but it’s possible I may come back as a broom.

Karma sucks!