Nigel Kennedy’s existential crisis over Iraq

By Piers Bolt

Applied Hermeneutics’ token right-wing commentator, Piers Bolt, sinks the boot into ... um, pardon me, PB ... casts a critical eye upon Nigel Kennedy, virtuoso violinist and anti-Iraq War advocate.

Punko-classical violinist and sometime peacenik Nigel Kennedy seems to be having an identity crisis.

Although his father is Australian, Kennedy is himself a British citizen. As a protest against his country’s role in the 2003 Iraq invasion liberation, Kennedy had planned to become an Australian citizen. He has abandoned this supposed noble gesture “now that they’d sent another thousand troops over to Iraq”.

“The big majority [in Australia] think the war is the wrong thing to be doing,” Kennedy opines, “and still the Government is sending soldiers there.”

So, if Kennedy had his way, Saddam would still be in power massacring the good people of that country to his genocidal heart’s content. One must ask: Would that be a “good thing”, scumbag dumbarse dumbass Mr Kennedy?

As if to add to Kennedy’s angst ridiculous befuddlement, the poor sad confused little yob is currently living in Poland, which has 1700 troops deployed in Iraq, several hundred more odd than even Australia has stationed there. (Which, by the way, doesn’t reflect upon Australia’s worldwide commitment to freedom and democracy when viewed per capita, folks.)

Can Kennedy not see the hypocrisy of his choice of country of residence? It surely must be an oversight that the Poles haven't already deported his whining arse ass. Clearly the Polish government must up its ante in the War on Terror.

It’s hard to think what would be a satisfactory solution for Kennedy’s tragic pathetic quandary. One would think a good start might be to seize him firmly by the shoulders and administer a vigorous shaking. (Yes, readers, but you’ll have to join the queue cue – and I’m first in line seeing as how I thought of it.)

A longer term solution, however, may be for him to simply emigrate to New Zealand, or Canada, or France... C’mon, Nige, there must be plenty of countries with no backbone that would be more than happy to have your sorry, whining, pinko arse but butt repose within their borders.

From another perspective angle, Kennedy ought to consider that renouncing his British citizenship might not be such a good move, should his anti-American, anti-Freedom activities wind up with him as a detainee at Guantanamo Bay, which would be a not altogether undeserved or unlikely outcome.

As a prospective long-term resident at Guantanamo Bay Gitmo, it wouldn’t be helpful for Kennedy to be a citizen of Australia, with her strong emphasis on national security and concomitant negation neglect deemphasis of her citizen’s rights. Better for Kennedy to remain a Pom British citizen. Or better yet go for US citizenship.

But would our North American friends have him? And, even more urgently, should our British, Polish and other allies in the War on Terror tolerate Kennedy’s presence in our midst?

It’s unfortunate, given the man’s considerable artistic gifts, but ultimately it’s either him or us.

Editor’s Note: PB, are you sure this isn’t an earlier draft you’ve inadvertently submitted of this article?