Friday, December 07, 2007

Face of evil

click to enlarge

“Oh puh-lease, can we just wrap this up...?”

Pictured above is blogmeister Jacob in a formal portrait at Hitler Youth induction school-pic circa 1966.

Forget snips and snails and puppy dogs tails. Prod this kid with a walking stick and he spews spit, bile, snot and diahaerra [sic].

As a backdrop for his picture, my brother had a world map. I had “The Good Shepherd” as my backdrop. But I wanted the world map!!

[Cue spooky music...]

So already fantasies of world conquest were taking root, while the outward impudent pout is telling of something festering and toxic on the inside.

Yep, blonde, blue-eyed... der werks.

Should have been smothered in the cot. Or exposed in the wilderness.


Photo scan courtesy of No 1 Niece, from a collection scanned for her Dad’s 50th birthday project.

Proprietary trickles of verbal diahaerra [sic] courtesy of the blogosphere’s most prolific and shameless troll.



Anonymous Kathy said...

Oooh! You were a cute little kid Jarcob!
How 'bout a recent pic of you eh?
Are you still blonde?"
My hair was snow white up until I was about twelve. Then slowly over the years it darkened.I have it steaked now, 'cause I still really like that "light blonde" look!
Ain't got any grey hairs yet. How about you?

7/12/07 11:07 PM  
Blogger Caz said...

OMG - you were an extremely serious little lad, weren't you Jacob.

Twice this week my (new) manager asked me if I was actually a real blonde Kath, as he felt I was having some blonde moments. He is beginning to suspect that I am a fraudulent brunette.

8/12/07 12:06 AM  
Blogger Jacob A. Stam said...

Caz, the bloody hack photographer who took that shot was 'working' me.

He was directing me saying "just relax, be natural," and that kind of stuff.

Look at the white knuckles on my writing hand to see how 'relaxed' and 'natural' I felt about these strange proceedings.

If that bastard won an award for this piece of work, I'll sue for recompense of my own 'artistic' contribution (if by chance he's still alive).

Kath, I'm now grey as Phillip Bloody Ruddock is GREY!

Oh but yeah, aren't we just so adorable at that age?

I'll see if I can hunt out a not-so-frightful more recent pic...

8/12/07 1:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not too late

8/12/07 9:43 AM  
Blogger Jacob A. Stam said...

Well, Anon old chap, the trouble is I'm now too big, ugly and tough to be dispatched so readily.

And of course the defining characteristic of an overwheening will-to-power is its conceit. I'm sure you'll relate to that.

Nah, the job should have been done when I was vulnerable and defenceless. I'm sure you'll relate to that too.

So nice of you to drop by, Anon, always a pleasure.

8/12/07 12:31 PM  
Blogger Jacob A. Stam said...

Hmmm, wonder if Anon's charming little hate-free contribution could be described as a "coded death threat"?

8/12/07 2:09 PM  
Blogger Father Park said...

So then, the ultra-studious look was a put-on?

8/12/07 2:11 PM  
Blogger Father Park said...

Could be. Perhaps Anon will post some morse?

8/12/07 2:12 PM  
Blogger Jacob A. Stam said...

dih dah dah dih
dih dah
dih dih dih dih
dah dah dah
dih dih dah dih
dih dih dah dih

dih dih dih
dih dih dah
dah dih dah dih
dah dih dah
dih dih dih

dah dah dih
dah dah dih
dih dih dih

8/12/07 2:27 PM  
Blogger Jacob A. Stam said...

Yeah Bertie, I think maybe they were looking to make me a poster child for the school.

But all my spit, bile, snot and diahaerra [sic] made them settle for the girlie swot Jenkins kid.

8/12/07 2:34 PM  

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