PuntChoices

First past the post punting. The candidates have their say.

The PM (and the Treasurer):

Well, you can't go past experience. And Peter and I are experienced; more than that, we're a team. To ensure that return to your pocket and guarantee an historical winner experience is the go and Sirminoe represents that here. I, err, like efficiency too and so you need to be efficient. Black Tom McKewan for third. Whatever happens - and I hasten to add that the Melbourne Racing Club is thoroughly independent and will find a winner on its own reconnaissance - punting families have never had it better due to the government's PuntChoices. Winning odds will be at historic highs.

The Treasurer: And remember, this team, this experienced team, has brought punting families in this country eleven straight Melbourne cups. It has overseen the freeing up and internationalision of the Cup, opening it up to international competition in a globalised racing economy.

1. Sirimone
2. Efficient
3. Black Tom

Kevin Rudd:

Have I looked at the Melbourne Cup? Yes I have. Do I see a winner of this race? Yes I do. Do the Australian people desrve better leadership when it comes to negotiating their bets under PuntChoices? Yes they do. Will we rip up losing bets placed under the onerous PuntChoices? What we will do is constitute a committe to consider those losing bets placed under the government's unfair PuntChoices and report back by 2009. It is possible that some bets may stand untill 2010. What? Tips for the race? Do I have one? yes I do and here, in the season for them, they are:

1. Surmione
2. Efficient
3. Black Tom

Father Park:

Probably a much more open race than the odds indicate. Certainly down in class (EI and all) than last years' event. Were Delta Blues and Pop Rock in this event they'd street it. On that basis, Maybe Better (3rd last year to the Japanese pair) and Zipping - responsible for the standout trial of the week - are in this up to their ears. Caulfield victor Master O'Rielly is obviously the formline to beat and from that race Purple moon and Princess Coup also rate highly. Gallic, an eight year old, will have no problems with the trip. Class might be his problem.

1. Zipping
2. Purple Moon
3. Master O'Rielly
4. Maybe Better
5. Princess Coup

Box the lot for $60 bucks and away you go. Gallic concerns me though.

The PM:

Err, as you know, when policy is enunciated that I believe makes sense and is appropriate, I will consider it. What the good padre has explained above is clearly sensible and should be adopted. Under the government's PuntChoices this is the sort of flexibility allowed.

1. Zipping
2. Purple Moon
3. Master O'Rielly
4. Maybe Better
5. Princess Coup

Kevin Rudd:

Will the ALP match the government on this? Yes it will.

Joe Hockey:

I will resign as a minister if, under PuntChoices, we make any further changes.

Peter Garrett:

Weren't we going to do that after the race? I was certain we'd change our bet after the race.

Pervez Musharraf:

I will proclaim the winner after the event, irrespective of the outcome of the event. Any and all stewards are under house arrest.